Proverbial Doorsteps
by It's Just That
Summary: [AU! ShounenAi!] If there was one thing that Iruka and Naruto knewit was that they were meager citizens of the Fire Country... When they're found at the richer part of town by the people who live there, Sasuke, Sai, Itachi, Gaara, Neji...


I have just read the most awesome-est, coolieo, inspiring story, EVER. So, to commemorate this event, I have written a story.

**Summary**: The men from the prestigious clans of Konoha were never given the chance to live, and to feel. Cooped up by their over-protective, albeit lovely mothers and relatives, they never realized how unfulfilled their lives were… Until a cutesy blond and his fussy guardian literally drops onto their proverbial, and immaculate doorsteps, jarring them from their rather 'pleasant' views of the world.

**Warnings**: Not!SakuraBashingfic! Is: Shounen-ai, AU, OOC-ness, mind-boggling and plotless, really. Enjoy.

**Rating**: I seriously have no idea, but it won't ever reach M. That's what you have to know. xD I can't write anything lemony, limey, or blah.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does. If I did, the cast of Naruto men and boys would be making out and groping behind a theatre.

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"Naruto! _NARUTO, _get back over here!" hollered a thin, brown haired man, running after his charge. Cursing himself for not exercising more discipline on said charge, Iruka sped down the immaculate-lawns, jumping over garden gnomes and avoiding the sprinklers that seem to have turned on. The people in these parts of town (or maybe it was all over town?) seemed to like to torture each other.

_Rich_ people.

He shook his head and continued on his way.

Soon, after rounding a corner and shuffling under a silver gate with the words: _Prestige is blood, _engraved with fancy-smancy swirls;a blond blur caught his eyes. It darted to a marble archway near him, and with a triumphant yell, Iruka pounced.

"_Gotcha_!"

"Agh! Gerroff me, Iruka-sensei! I didn't do anything, I swear!" Naruto fought back, struggling against Iruka's firm grip. Eventually though, he stopped altogether and laughed sheepishly. He ignored the disapproving glare that his teacher gave him, his own sapphire blue eyes sparkling good humouredly.

"So does that mean you'll buy me Ramen?" he said cheekily, cocking his head to the side, grinning. "I managed to get you to chase me all over town."

"No," was Iruka's immediate response. The older man stood up, bringing the blond with him. He had his hands under the scruff of Naruto's neck, and he'd be damned if he was going to let the hyperactive teen go. After realizing that they weren't in any part of town that they knew, Iruka craned his neck to check their surroundings.

Clean, watered, green lawns. Check.

Crawling vines and large, mazelike gardens…

……

…Marble mansions the size of twenty-eight homes put together and large forests crawling with animals…

…

Iruka did a double-take.

Marble mansions the size of twenty-eight homes and large forests crawling with animals?

"O-oi Iruka-sensei," said Naruto dubiously, breaking Iruka away from his jumbled thoughts: "I don't think we're in Endingway district anymore."

"I don't think so either," he answered shortly.

"Sa… So that means I don't get my ramen, right?"

"**NARUTO!**"

"_What-?_" said Naruto innocently, batting his eyelashes and staring up at his teacher adorably. "Did you really expect me _not _to think of my stomach? I'm a growing boy you know!"

"A midget of a boy if you ask me," said a dark voice laced with venom, behind them.

Whipping about in lightning speed, Iruka and Naruto was faced with five tall, and apathetic-looking teens, who all bore the same '_I don't care what you think, even for two cents_' look. Four were amazingly black haired boys (amazingly, since their hair shone a brilliant blue or brown, in the case of the longhaired one, in the sun) and one was a red head, with—no, not orange hair, or pale red, or golden red—but a blood red that looked more (here comes that word again) bloody than any that the two had ever seen.

"Hey Iruka-sensei, do you think they dyed it?" whispered Naruto conspiratorially.

Iruka nudged him on the head with an elbow, "_Shh_!"

Naruto guffawed, and with barely concealed amusement, said in an even louder tone: "Girly boys!"

"Who are you calling girly boys?" said the longhaired boy with opalescent eyes, which were narrowed in distaste. He seemed to have taken an instant disliking to Naruto—and to Iruka's utter disappointment—had done nothing to shut the blond up. The others around him stirred in restless agreement, and the three dark haired boys with black eyes murmured amongst themselves. The redhead stood a ways, arms crossed, jade green eyes critically surveying the situation.

"You," was Naruto's simple answer. Naruto grinned his damnably idiotic grin, and Iruka was at a near close to strangling his charge's neck. And he was supposed to just shut up, thought Iruka, heaving a tired sigh. He massaged his temples with his left hand. Idiot.

"W-why you…" sputtered the longhaired boy, porcelain cheeks tingeing. A slender hand was placed onto the raging boy's shoulder and the redhead spoke three, simple words in such a dead serious voice that caused everyone to stop:

"Who are you?"

Iruka stopped strangling Naruto.

Sai stopped trying to glare a hole into Naruto's crotch area.

Sasuke stopped trying to stop Sai from glaring a hole into Naruto's crotch area.

Itachi just looked on neutrally, but the hand that crept under Sasuke's shirt, was quickly, and guiltily swatted away.

"_What_?" spoke Naruto, dazed from the lack of oxygen. Luckily, those _evil _hands withdrew from his throat, and he gasped loudly, prodding at his bruised neck. He winced. He could still feel Iruka's hands on his throat, _damnit_!

"Who. Are. You?" repeated the redhead, Gaara, now glaring.

Dumbly, Naruto's brown haired guardian answered for both of them.

"I'm Iruka, and the one I was strangling was—is," he hastily corrected himself, "Naruto."

Gaara, with a mental sigh, said, "Right, and you're here why?"

"Because I was chasing him—" at this, Iruka pointed at the sulking blond, "around town."

"Ahh." It seemed as if Gaara didn't even want to know why Iruka was chasing said blond around town.

"…So," said Iruka, calmly folding his arms. "Why are you guys here?"

Nonexistent eyebrows rose in skepticism, and as if it was the simplest question in the world, Gaara replied: "Because we _live _here."

"Oh, so you're a rich person," piped Naruto, pointing out the obvious. He was now out of his sulk, his usual foxy, idiotic grin plastered onto his face.

"_Rich_?" Gaara seemed to dwell on this word. "I suppose you could say that," he started slowly, "but doesn't everyone here have large houses, hedge-like mazes and cars and carnivals and fairs for their birthdays and Christmases?" The others murmured in agreement, while Naruto and Iruka shook their heads.

Finally, Itachi spoke up:

"Well this _is _Konoha district. You're bound to meet rich people at any place. It's not like you guys _aren't _rich, right?"

"Uh… Well…"

What were they supposed to say to that?

Naruto and Iruka exchanged looks.

_'We live at the middle-class part of the Fire Country, and we live pretty comfortably, but not as comfortably—cough—as you guys. So waddya say? Wanna hang at the arcade or go for a killer time at a bar?'_

Oh well.

They both shrugged.

Best be honest.

"No," said Naruto, shuffling his cuffed orange converse on the ground.

"We're not rich," finished Iruka with a terse nod.

…

…?

…

"You must be shitting me," said Sasuke, sneering.

"I shit you not," Naruto shot back, gritting his teeth. "If I was as rich as all of you bastards, I wouldn't be wearing the things that I have, now would I?" He gestured to his black tee and faded blue pants, "I would be wearing those expensive suits that cost thousands of dollars, which are (probably) all in your closet in different designs." He disdainfully eyed the black suits that the others wore, and snorted. "You guys must be really uncomfortable in those. They look pretty tight, not to mention it's sweltering out here."

"You don't know the half of it," murmured Itachi, pulling at his collar. "These things are _fucking _uncomfortable!"

"Idiot," Sai muttered, slapping Itachi's wandering hands away from his crotch. He didn't even know Itachi was capable of doing such a thing. As far as Sai knew, his perverted crimson-eyed cousin only had _two _hands.

"I'm hurt!" Itachi pouted. "It's not like I'm not an idiot, who acts like an idiot, and is therefore, after negating the first two idiots, become smart."

"…Doesn't that equal mindless?"

"Hn."

"…"

Itachi pouted even more.

"Ahem." Iruka cleared his voice. "If you rich gentlemen may let us leave, we'd like to make it to the nightly 'feed-the-hamster' gig."

"He basically means we're going to Ichiraku's to eat," explained Naruto to Sasuke, who nodded understandingly.

"What's Ichiraku?"

"You mean, you don't know?" asked Naruto, aghast. "It's just the best brand of noodle-making restaurant in all of Fire Country!"

"You mean that water and piss concoction?" Sasuke wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Tastes like an abomination—not that I've tried any humans—that'd be cannibalism and ugh. Cannibalism gives people pimples—at least that was what my brother told me."

Itachi, at the mention of his name, stared at them, eyes bleeding crimson for a second, then fading into his subdued dark brown. A mischievous sparkle started to form in them, and his lips quirked up on their own accord.

"Right…" Naruto said, seemingly disturbed.

"Well, nice seeing you guys," said Naruto, after an awkward and tense silence, turning to leave with Iruka. He waved to the five teens, who silently gazed at them with some unreadable emotion in their similar eyes.

Over his shoulder, Naruto shouted:

"By the by, you didn't tell us your names!"

"I'm Sasuke," yelled the dark haired teen that had earlier spoken to him; "and Neji is the PMSing bitchy one who bitches about destiny and fate, as you were shown in an earlier episode of Naruto…(1) And Gaara is the silent, emo one who commands all attention with just a snap of his fingers, and the two freaks left are Itachi and Sai."

"Oh, okay!" Iruka impatiently tugged at his hand. Naruto complied and walked faster. "Well see you guys sometime!"

With that, Naruto and Iruka rapidly left the richer parts of town, heads downcast; an air of depression surrounding them. They made sure that they were out of earshot, and far enough that the others wouldn't hear their statements.

"And to think they have cars for their birthdays and Christmases…" began Naruto, swinging his hands from side to side.

"Yeah, and hedge-like mazes and butlers and maids," Iruka said mournfully, fishing for his keys.

"And—and… cars and HOUSES," Naruto looked envious, as he dreamed of the many orange sport cars he could own. He didn't really care for the houses, but Iruka would like them, so of course he'd think of that too.

"…Oh shut up," Iruka bit out, annoyed. "We're making ourselves depressed, now get in the damn car so I can drive us to Ichiraku."

"But…" said Naruto, perking up.

"But…?" Iruka asked testily, jamming the keys into the ignition. The old, but still-faithful black car purred delightedly.

Smiling crookedly, Iruka patted his car with a fond light to his demeanor. Ahhh.

His baby.

"Eh…" Naruto scratched his head, trying not to seem disturbed (yet again) at how his guardian seemed to like the car a little _too _much. "Do you even know where we are, or where Ichiraku is located?"

"…No."

"Thought so."

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(1) I just had to add that. ;-;

Lol, well, that's Chapter One for you. Pretty short, I guess. Crap of a mood. Took me a few days to make it this long. Anyways, review, and if you'd point out the mistakes and give me some pointers and suggestions...

All would be taken into heart.


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